On Monday morning Pete had picked up Steve to go to work. They both worked at the same company and had been doing so for a couple of years. The company specialized in software and database applications for businesses and both Pete and Steve were among the programmers. Others were responsible for testing and the implementation in the clients business.
As soon as he was at his desk his colleagues came towards him, they were curious about what happened on the new years party. So he told them about the pains he sometimes felt ever since the accident and how his legs could cramp up. A silence fell when he was done.
“Wow, really?” asked Claire, one of the two females Steve worked with. “That sucks.”
“It sure does,” Steve said with a shrug of his shoulders, “but I can live with it.”
“That bastard got of easy,” Kevin grumbled and Steve shrugged again.
That bastard died in the crash. A lawyer had come to him in the hospital and told him he could try and get compensation, but he refused. What good did it do to ask compensation from relatives who had nothing to do with the accident? It had turned out the man driving was under influence of drugs, but his family had no idea about that. If the man had survived, now that was a different story. But that wasn’t the case. The mother of the driver had visited him in the hospital, apologizing for what had happened. He had told her she didn’t have to worry about it, but he refused to say it was all right or that he would forgive him. She hadn’t asked those things either.
“So what causes it?” Jill, the second female colleague, asked and Steve looked up.
“They’re not sure but they think damaged nerves and they’re not sure if it can be treated or not.”
The most colleagues, although they wished him best of luck, soon lost interest. It didn’t surprise Steve. Of all his co-workers, there were three that had visited him in the hospital. Pete had come almost every day. Clair and Jill once a week. He got a card from the rest.
***
Everything seemed to go well for a while and the incident on the new years party moved to the background. Steve worked like he normally did, glad he was still able to do this job. He remembered they had thrown him a little welcome back party when he had returned, Pete later told him it had been Clair and Jill who came up with that. It had been a nice feeling, to be welcomed back to work like that, it gave him the feeling he mattered. And it was nice to return to work and pick up his life again, like nothing happened.
Steve walked with Clair, Bob and Pete to the small kitchen for some more coffee. Suddenly pain shot through his right leg when he leaned on it. He groaned softly and his eyes narrowed as he stumbled on his left leg, taking the pressure of his right, and he fell behind a bit.
Pete immediately turned around, needed mere seconds to know what was going on.
“It’s nothing,” Steve said, taking a new step, where he carefully put some weight on his right leg. The pain was gone, but he was always careful after something like that happened, afraid that it might come back.
Clair and Bob had turned around as well and it took them longer to realise what had happened. Now that Pete’s concern dropped, Clair started to look worried.
“Your leg?” she asked.
Steve just nodded, reluctant to dwell on it.
Pete turned around, ready to walk on. “I hope the coffee isn’t to strong this time,” he said, changing the subject. He knew his friend well enough to know he didn’t want to give it any more attention.
Clair frowned at Pete. “You can show some more concern,” she told him.
“Why?” Pete asked, looking over his shoulder. “He’s fine.”
“And you call yourself a friend?!” Clair snapped at him, her blue eyes glaring intensely at Pete.
Pete’s eyebrows rose and he blinked, trying to understand why she was mad at him all of a sudden.
“Your friend is in pain and you think about coffee?” she continued.
“But…”
“I’m fine,” Steve said, interrupting Pete. “I’m not in pain anymore. It was just a stab, it happens. No need to dwell on it.” In fact, Pete had once again shown he knew him very well, by just ignoring the whole thing. He wished Clair would do the same and he started to regret he had told them. “Seriously,” Steve sighed, walking to the kitchen again. “Let’s go. And I disagree with you, Pete.” Steve walked up front, so they couldn’t see his annoyed face. “I could use strong coffee.”
When they all had a big mug filled with steaming coffee, they walked back to their workplace. Even though Bob spoke with Steven and Pete, Clair still seemed upset by what happened, but the guys ignored that.
Back at their workplace they all went to their desks, but it didn’t take long before Clair got up and walked over to Jill, to tell her what had happened. After that they both sent an icy look in Pete’s direction, who sighed. He knew he had done nothing wrong, but the women seemed to disagree. And the compassionate look they sent in Steve’s direction wasn’t received well either, Pete noticed. Steve seemed annoyed by it, but ignored it as well as he could. He was busy typing on the keyboard.
Pete also turned his attention to his work, when suddenly a small square appeared on the screen, informing him he had a new e-mail. He looked up to Steve, who drank from his mug while reading something on his computer screen, and then back at his screen. The mail was from him.
I’ve seen them look at you. Don’t worry about it. I appreciate how you handled the situation. Right now I regret that I told them.
Pete looked up again and now Steve was looking in his direction, winked and returned his attention to his computer. Pete knew he had done nothing wrong, but to get a conformation was nice.
With a click of his mouse he was ready to sent his reply.
I’m not bothered with it. And it wasn’t something you could hide for them forever. They’ll let it rest, like they did after the party.
With another click of the mouse he sent the message to Steve, who smiled moments later and looked up. Now it was Pete who winked and Steve nodded before they returning to their work.
Steve tried to focus on his work, but his thoughts returned to what had happened on their way to the coffee pot. There were times when nothing happened for weeks and there were times when he experienced those shots of pain in one or both legs a couple of times in one week. There was no way of predicting when it would come and he had come to accept that, even though he hoped it would just end one day. If he didn’t experience any pain for a few weeks, the hope that it was finally over started to rise, only to be crushed when the pain returned. But those shots of pain was something he could live with. Those awful cramps were what he feared most, and his worst fear for that matter was to be alone when something like that would happen.
Over time he learned opinions about his condition were divided at work, some were concerned about it and treated him as if he was fully disabled, asking if they had to get him something. Steve hated it when they did that, because he could walk just fine. Most were neutral, much to his relief. And some believed he attitudinised or even lied about it to get attention. Steve just tried to ignore them and was glad to have Pete around, so he had someone to talk with and to share his annoyance with. Pete was always willing to listen and was a voice of reason, much to Steve’s relief.
*** © Mariska Bekker ***